Did I make the wrong decision?

New photo by Nee Shen Ho / Google Photos

Seems like every year, I will lose a friend to migration. I hear friends leaving for greener pastures to another country.. Australia, United States, Singapore… 

And here I am consoling myself where I am, is not too bad after all. Decent quality of life, decent career, a job I don’t hate, volunteering community, great weather, beaches (that I hardly visit), great food.. family..

But I cannot help but wonder if I’ve made a conscious decision not to seek greener pastures because I am comfortable.. not embracing the notion of going out of the comfort zone. 

Sometimes I wonder if I am missing the boat. 

The thought will linger. 

But I believe the only reason I should leave is because of the unfair government policies of prioritizing a certain race for education and government benefits. I see that in students scoring well in form 6 but not getting a course they like. Although I now have a decent living, the impression of unfairness after my own form 6 experience still burns a deep scar in my being. 

I wonder when the regret, for fighting on to stay, will set in. Maybe when my own children have to go through my own demons, I will realise where I should be focusing my effort in the past 10 years. Maybe I’ll turn bitter… but then, maybe there’s hope. 


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