Lets start with the beginning. We flew back to Penang from Kuching on Malaysian Airlines. The price is not that far off from Air Asia when I bought the tickets. We thought since the travel involves a baby, we would appreciate the services that we pay for using MAS. While waiting at the gate, the announcement came that families with babies and children will board first (this is something that Air Asia does not practice, at least at the flights that I happen to take). I was lifting the bags, starting to move into the queue when a ground crew came to me and asked if this was my “family”. The word “family” stunned me for a while before I could answer yes. Dawned to me that I have a family now.

Having infants, we were allowed to board before everyone else, even before the “families with children”. When we board the plane, they gave us a pillow and blanked. The air stewardess will serve meal to “one of us” first so that we can take turns to carry the baby when meals are served. Just after the seal belt sign is turned off, meal to “one of us” is served.

More than anything, I feel that I have something to look forward to when I come home. I feel like there is a very good reason, more than anything, to get out of work and come home. I usually stay at work for a little while longer to stay away from the jam. But these few days, I just left when it is time to go.

It has been more tiring for the wife as she has to breastfeed the baby. This fellow demands a lot and we are supplementing with formula milk. Better to supplement than for him to go hungry. It is all working well.

I like the fact that my parents are come more often to my place just to see Gabriel. I really like that.

Colleagues give me 3 months so see if I will change my positive attitude towards the baby. They are right, 2 weeks is too early to tell. We shall see how in 3 months

Inside that mitten, Gabriel is showing me the finger for forcing him out of the mother’s comfortable womb..

You will notice that some time has passed since the Caesarian section the wife has to endure before I posted it up in the blogs. In between, I have told my story to a few close friends. I told them that I was in the operation theater when the doctors did the operation and I narrated what happened real-time to the wife who is conscious. Most people tell me that I was brave to be there. A lot of daddy’s think they are brave but when the see the amount of blood coming out, they literally faint.

After the wife has been prepped for the operation., she was wheeled in to the operating theater. She went in first cause she was on the wheelchair (not like that she cannot walk, it has to be a dramatic effect – unless someone can tell me why). The nurses asked me in a fast tone whether I want to go in the operation theater. No hesitation – I sure. One male attendant (or is he a nurse, I did not get his details) ushered me into the changing room, dragged out a green scrub and ask me to change into it. He looks rushed so I just put the scrubs over my day clothes.

Then I was given a chair and asked to wait beside the nurses station in the OT. From the station I can see all the operating room.

I had to wait for about half hour before they asked me to go in the operation room. When I went in, the wife was already covered except for the part where they will operate on. She is conscious and I am given a chair beside her head. The blanket was raised at the neck so she could not see anything beyond her neck. I did the narration.

The Doctor came in. I was surprised that he had those rubber boots that the market people uses but in white colour. That was surprising. The doctor went straight to work. Like literally, came in, put on his gown and gloves and reached for the scalpel. That was 10.25am.

He made a cut, then cauterize the blood vessels. He works fast. Like really fast. After that, he did what I think was separating the uterus from the “meat”. One more cut and the nurses are moving around the stomach. One of them was on the top of the stomach and with all her body weight, pushes down on the stomach.

10.31am, the baby came out.

5 minutes and it is all over.

All the while, I am narrating to the wife what is going on and she said she feels nothing down there. Glad for that.

I did notice that when the baby’s head came out, he already started crying even while the body was in the womb. He was not too happy about being forced out of the mother. As the body is leaving the womb, the butt was facing me and I can see streaks of green goo from the butt all the way down the legs. It looked out of place cause the only liquid I see are blood. I think it has to be poop. Yup, baby pooped when he came out.

Which is a good thing I understand, cause that reduces the chances of jaundice. He needs to poop and we were worried that 1) he pooped in the amniotic fluid and eat his own poop since he stayed there for so long. 2) he did not poop and get jaundice.

For the next half hour, the doctor was stitching up the wife and I was asked to leave half way though the stitching.

Did I see Blood? Yup. I don’t think there was a lot of blood loss but blood was everywhere. Looks like a gruesome murder scene.

Did I faint? Nah.. you will need more than that amount of blood to make me faint. Seen worse.

This would be the first time any of us got admitted into a hospital. We were unsure of the process or what is about to follow but we were going to do it together.

The appointment to check into the hospital was at 8.30 am. We walked in a check in just like a hotel. Just go to the counter and mention the name. The person at the counter escorted us up to the wards and passed us to the nurse. In less than half and hour, wife was in her hospital gown and the O&G was with us.

We were aware of some minor complication to the pregnancy. The baby is in a posterior position, making him a bit hard to come out. The head is looking up, causing the baby to be not engaged. Also, suspect there is cord around the neck. The O&G said, cord round neck is something he has handled many times and it should not be a problem.

We were given option.

We can first try to induce the baby for a normal labour. They will give her pitocin every 6 hours for a maximum of  doses. This should induce the baby to come out. BUT, there are unsuccessful cases which ends up in caesarean section anyway.  The other option that we have is to go for elective caesarean and and skip out on the pain.

I was expecting the doctor to tell us what to do, after all he is the expert. But instead we were given the choice. It was a stressful time for us. He explained what will be done for both options and we were given time to think. I really wanted him to make the decision so that I don’t have to. We both made some calls to our experienced mothers and both came to a conclusion that it would be better to skip the inducing and straight go for the operation. The logic, as I gathered, is that inducing will cause duress and stress to the baby. It is better, in such cases, to get the baby out as fast as possible.

We told the nurse about our decision and the Operation was scheduled for 10am.

So you have to imagine,  we checked in all fine at 8.30am. One visit by the doctors and a few phone calls. 2 hours later, the baby is out!

I never buy the stories about how babies are a miracle of life and stuff like that. I think they are mushy. But after seeing the baby coming out from the womb, with my own eyes.. it is a surreal experience.

I don’t buy this 1Malaysia bullshit. I travel to Kuching a lot and I know that I will get a 90 day social visa on arrival at the airport. A lot of people I talked to did not know that for West Malaysians to work and study in Sarawak or Sabah, we need permits. These permits need to be renewed every year or so. It is like being a foreign worker in my own country.

So the wife has suggested to give birth in Kuching so that the baby could have what I would call “Sarawak Citizenship”.

This one decision, to give birth in Sarawak and confinement, created a logistics nightmare for both my wife and I.

Firstly, the airlines would not fly anyone more than 37 weeks pregnant. This means that wife has to work from Kuching for about 6 weeks before her maternity leave kicks in.

Based on statistics she read from the forums, it is said that only 10% of babies are born on their EDD (expected date of delivery). So to be sure I won’t miss the show, I have bought an expensive ticket from Malaysian Airlines that allows me to change the date and go on standby at the airport in case the baby comes early. A lot of planning and thought went into when I should head for the airport. Sometimes labour will only start a few days after “signs” of labour. So I had to work with my boss to tell him that I may need to fly anytime. One of the thing we were afraid of is a quick labour. That means I will miss everything. I would need about 5 hours from checkin to arrival at Kuching.

Complicated.. I know. But that is just the high level description, it gets more complicated that that.

I was due to fly 4 days before EDD, again to hedge by bet on statistics. We were hoping the baby will come earlier than then EDD, but not too far off.  We were all expecting that I would have to fly earlier than then planned flight. That day came and no signs of the baby yet. We did not expect the baby will come late so we did not plan for it.

4 Days later, EDD came and went, no signs.

We went to see the doctor on Friday (5 days after EDD) as scheduled, it was a routine weekly checkup. Doctor asked what we wanted to do. He says Monday is a good day to check ourselves to induce the baby because it is not good for the baby to be in there too long. Normally between 7-10 days after EDD is an acceptable delay to induce the baby. One of our main concerns is the baby pooping in the amniotic fluid and then eating his own poop. Apparently it happens with “matured” babies.

Weekend came and went.. no signs of baby yet. So we checked ourselves in first thing on Monday morning.

.. to be continued…

What I realised though, it was too early in the morning. Well, the sun is up and we get good lights and shadow.. sunday morning is always too early for man and beast alike. I let this photo journal do the talking.

This guy is sleeping in the “island” at the junction of penang road and chulia street. The sun on his face but he does not seem to mind an extra few minutes of snooze time.

Chowrasta market is starting to bustle. Locals are out early to get the best morsels. For this guard dog, the day.. or more like the night shift, is over. Sleepiness kicks in and under the stall is a good place to sleep assuming the customers do not kick him.

Some people are early.. they got the papers already. Hope it was not yesterday’s news.. or his bed for the night?

Coffee shop.. still not open.

Doggie found a nice spot under the trishaw. The trishaw is not going anywhere. The market (at the end of Campbell Street) is just starting business. A few minutes of shut eye not a bad idea.

The odd cat under the car. Most creatures I saw were dogs.

This has got to be his bed. He is sleeping on the wrong side of the bed. He is sleeping UNDER the bed, not on top of it.

Never said dogs were smart.

Trishaw man waiting for business, too early, taking a longer shut eye.

So folks, regardless what time it is, as long as it is morning.. sunday mornings are just too early to wake up. As the evidence around town has shown.

I am going to get some shut eye now.

Thanks Anand and Eu Jeen for dragging me out of the house. The fresh air, the little walk and some sweat was what I needed. Who needs Wii.

As I reflected on my anger management in the past month (without the help of the shrink which I owe them a visit long time ago), I do find that other than road rage, most of my anger comes from the workplace. I do find that working with people with different backgrounds can be sometimes frustrating. You know what they say about software engineers, we are like a bunch of cats. And if you know cats, you know that they each have their own individuality. Prominent Individuality.

Looking back at my ACTIONS, I do find that I snap easily when I am facing an angry moment. I have shouted at people even though it is not their fault. I have used old issues to bring guilt into the other party, like what they did wrong the last time.. makes it a good excuse for me not to help them this time. I take offense when I am given work that is not planned, and I snap at the whole issue. Thinking how stupid the workplace is. In other words, I am acting childish. Some people say that I take things to personally. Professional conduct has gone into the drain for personal feelings.

So far, my actions are basically on shouting and doing emotional hijacking, bad enough when I know those actions means that I am burning bridges and destroying trust.

Looking back at the past few months on what caused these ACTIONS, I find that my IRRATIONAL BELIEFS are centered around a few issues. Firstly is my bloated ego thinking that everyone has to pull his own weight when it comes to completing task. Well, the people in my team are great.. but I do hear stories of people from other teams that are not pulling their weight. These people have nothing to do with me and I should not concerned. But the stories give me the “impression” that they are getting paid for the easy work and I have to take all the heavy lifting around here. Secondly is the fact that nothing is ever happening as planned. Everyday I come in the office, regardless how it is planned, things will always go south. Then I have to come in and fix the issue or deal with it. It disrupts daily routine and concentration.

To DISPUTE the Belief, I am drilling into myself that everyone is working hard, no one is goofing off and the stories I hear, are just stories. I should not look at myself and compare with other people so much, that is what my parents always drill into me when I was a kid. People can do whatever they want, as long as I achieve better than what I was last year. I also have to drill into myself that I work in an engineering department. Things screw up all the time. The fact that I get it fixed, means it is not that serious and it means customer will see one less issue.

Will I be able to achieve a zen-like attitude after this? NAH.. one step at the time..

And it came free.

There was some “contest” held by the department, to see who can upload the most info into the internal wiki page. This will help marketing with their FAQ. Whenever the wife went to work on weekend, I followed and typed in a few entries. At the end, I came up tops.

They say I can ask for any netbook with the price of less than USD500. I choose this one because it comes with 2GM SSD. Means I can shake it around. Also, it is a tablet. It also has multitouch.. And I cannot get it in Malaysia.. yet.

What model is this?

ASUS Eee PC T91MT-PU17-WT Tablet White Netbook – 5 Hour Battery Life (Windows 7 Home Premium)

So far, I find that playing flash.. even mafia wars is very slow on this machine. The multitouch is not as sensitive as the iphone. Sometimes, it gets the gesture wrong and instead of scrolling, it resize.

But it is free, it is COOL and I like it. 5 hours of battery life.. yeah.. a bit more than that if I just do surfing. Must try to watch a movie with this.

I have closed the Flag Day account. It is done, I still supposedly have one set of papers with me which I have to send in but the work is done. It is more like returning the stuff that I took from them.

So last Friday, I went to HQ to return the flag day stuff. I thought I can finally close the case with them but I met with the Lady Boss. Started off with small conversation which lead to them saying that I have some time in my hand which I spend doing photography. See this blog and tell me when was the last time I did any photography? Busy with new baby coming and masters. I guess it is hard for the RCS bosses to understand when I say I am busy with my masters. They think I have a lot of time. It didn’t dawn to me that they though if me as so priceless. I made up my mind then.

Lets hope this is the last time I am “quitting”. I am still holding on the chapter post. Any takers?

We first went to the Taman Tun Sardon clinic to check if they can register us since we “thought” that was the nearest clinic which is not packed with people. I knew there was a clinic in sungai dua but it is always full of people. After the visit to the Taman Tun Sardon clinic, we came to understand that we have to visit the clinic that is assigned to our place of residence. Each clinic has a zone that they have to take care of. For my side of the road, it is Bukit Jambul. It is at the ground floor of the flats just after the BJ traffic lights. Small operation. Very few people.

The government clinics are good for regular checkups but they do not ultrasound the fetus very often. So far, we only had one scan at week 16, if I am not mistaken. The clinics will do the regular checkups, bloodwork, urine test, BP etc.. They will also administer the necessary jabs and are incessant about getting the teeth checked up. They “made” my wife visit the BJ dentist for a quick checkup and get her records verified that her teeth were good.

The government clinics also do home visit. They are supposed to visit my wife at home between checkups to make sure that the baby is healthy. So far, they only came twice but I heard many other clinics do not even have home visit. Well they should and if you are using the government clinics, do ask for it.

Using the government clinics brings about a problem for me. Since they do not ultrascan the baby often, I do not know the gender of the baby. During Chinese New Year, when we went back to Kuching, we purposely went to Kuching Specialist to scan for the baby’s gender. It was about 20 weeks then and the doctor was not sure about the gender. He thinks likely it would be a boy but he was not sure as the organ has not developed yet. But he did try his best and manage to get some image of an “organ”, or at least what looked like a shadow of it.

Fast forward to last week, we had one last chance to confirm the gender of the baby. We went to Pantai Hospital for a scan. The doctor was doing the regular scan. Measuring the head, femur and the arm bones. I did ask the doctor what is the gender.. she moved the wand around and said it is a boy. Sure. I certainly did not see anything so I asked her again, “how did she know”… I was hinting her to SHOW me. She did not reply but my wife said she did see something.

I mean, why must she be so shy? Haii.

Anyway, she was more concerned about the health of the baby.. which I agree is important. But i came to her for the gender and to see some images before we get the baby. Well, at least I know the answer now.

The process complication is just beginning as the wife wants to deliver the baby in Kuching. We need to “transfer” the clinic paperwork to Kuching.. which is a busy place. Then we need to get the maternity package from Kuching Specialist. The transfer of account is what I am afraid of. The clinic here needs to send the papers to Kuching and we have to “report in” to Kuching at an appointed date. That is what I come to understand. After delivery, the nurse will call up my wife and check on the health of the mother and baby. Seriously, if you don’t mind the wait. the government nurses takes care of the mother and baby’s health very well. Wife gets free supplements and if it runs out between visits, just drop by and get replacements.. no questions asked.. and it is FREE.