Brain Ooze

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.

Diplomacy is the art of saying “good doggie” before you can get your hands on a rock.

commenting on an incident where he had to send a senior software architect to rework some boards overseas, my boss said..

That is dangerous, software engineers burn themselves with the soldering iron.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Winston Churchill

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When the people fear the government, there is Tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is Liberty.

-Thomas Jefferson

When the people fear the government, there is Tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is Liberty.

-Thomas Jefferson

All the talk about candies, delicious food, visiting friends and families, they are just the fillers. The festival is all about bursting crackers. They just burst crackers all day long.

True Blue Indian telling me what Deepavali is all about.

I wonder when Malaysia is going to un-ban fireworks and crackers. I guess until some small pocket of the society is educated enough to know that crackers and fireworks are explosives and they need to be handled carefully. That would probably  never happen.

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION
ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC
FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you ’cause I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other –
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and
so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the
sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don’t take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes –
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “Go to hell.”

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Disablity is god given, handicap is man made.

For women, men are like busses. When you miss the bus, just wait for the next one.

Then what if the woman waits but the bus did not come?

Then you change your bus stop.

- Billi Lim.