Brain Ooze

All my friends say that having a baby will change your life. I believe them now. Life has changed. BUT, contrary to some people’s experience, I like this one. It has been more positive life changing experience for me so far. I mean so far because Gabriel has only been back in Penang for 2 weeks. But it has been a wonderful 2 weeks.

Lets start with the beginning. We flew back to Penang from Kuching on Malaysian Airlines. The price is not that far off from Air Asia when I bought the tickets. We thought since the travel involves a baby, we would appreciate the services that we pay for using MAS. While waiting at the gate, the announcement came that families with babies and children will board first (this is something that Air Asia does not practice, at least at the flights that I happen to take). I was lifting the bags, starting to move into the queue when a ground crew came to me and asked if this was my “family”. The word “family” stunned me for a while before I could answer yes. Dawned to me that I have a family now.

Having infants, we were allowed to board before everyone else, even before the “families with children”. When we board the plane, they gave us a pillow and blanked. The air stewardess will serve meal to “one of us” first so that we can take turns to carry the baby when meals are served. Just after the seal belt sign is turned off, meal to “one of us” is served.

More than anything, I feel that I have something to look forward to when I come home. I feel like there is a very good reason, more than anything, to get out of work and come home. I usually stay at work for a little while longer to stay away from the jam. But these few days, I just left when it is time to go.

It has been more tiring for the wife as she has to breastfeed the baby. This fellow demands a lot and we are supplementing with formula milk. Better to supplement than for him to go hungry. It is all working well.

I like the fact that my parents are come more often to my place just to see Gabriel. I really like that.

Colleagues give me 3 months so see if I will change my positive attitude towards the baby. They are right, 2 weeks is too early to tell. We shall see how in 3 months

This would be the first time any of us got admitted into a hospital. We were unsure of the process or what is about to follow but we were going to do it together.

The appointment to check into the hospital was at 8.30 am. We walked in a check in just like a hotel. Just go to the counter and mention the name. The person at the counter escorted us up to the wards and passed us to the nurse. In less than half and hour, wife was in her hospital gown and the O&G was with us.

We were aware of some minor complication to the pregnancy. The baby is in a posterior position, making him a bit hard to come out. The head is looking up, causing the baby to be not engaged. Also, suspect there is cord around the neck. The O&G said, cord round neck is something he has handled many times and it should not be a problem.

We were given option.

We can first try to induce the baby for a normal labour. They will give her pitocin every 6 hours for a maximum of  doses. This should induce the baby to come out. BUT, there are unsuccessful cases which ends up in caesarean section anyway.  The other option that we have is to go for elective caesarean and and skip out on the pain.

I was expecting the doctor to tell us what to do, after all he is the expert. But instead we were given the choice. It was a stressful time for us. He explained what will be done for both options and we were given time to think. I really wanted him to make the decision so that I don’t have to. We both made some calls to our experienced mothers and both came to a conclusion that it would be better to skip the inducing and straight go for the operation. The logic, as I gathered, is that inducing will cause duress and stress to the baby. It is better, in such cases, to get the baby out as fast as possible.

We told the nurse about our decision and the Operation was scheduled for 10am.

So you have to imagine,  we checked in all fine at 8.30am. One visit by the doctors and a few phone calls. 2 hours later, the baby is out!

I never buy the stories about how babies are a miracle of life and stuff like that. I think they are mushy. But after seeing the baby coming out from the womb, with my own eyes.. it is a surreal experience.

I don’t buy this 1Malaysia bullshit. I travel to Kuching a lot and I know that I will get a 90 day social visa on arrival at the airport. A lot of people I talked to did not know that for West Malaysians to work and study in Sarawak or Sabah, we need permits. These permits need to be renewed every year or so. It is like being a foreign worker in my own country.

So the wife has suggested to give birth in Kuching so that the baby could have what I would call “Sarawak Citizenship”.

This one decision, to give birth in Sarawak and confinement, created a logistics nightmare for both my wife and I.

Firstly, the airlines would not fly anyone more than 37 weeks pregnant. This means that wife has to work from Kuching for about 6 weeks before her maternity leave kicks in.

Based on statistics she read from the forums, it is said that only 10% of babies are born on their EDD (expected date of delivery). So to be sure I won’t miss the show, I have bought an expensive ticket from Malaysian Airlines that allows me to change the date and go on standby at the airport in case the baby comes early. A lot of planning and thought went into when I should head for the airport. Sometimes labour will only start a few days after “signs” of labour. So I had to work with my boss to tell him that I may need to fly anytime. One of the thing we were afraid of is a quick labour. That means I will miss everything. I would need about 5 hours from checkin to arrival at Kuching.

Complicated.. I know. But that is just the high level description, it gets more complicated that that.

I was due to fly 4 days before EDD, again to hedge by bet on statistics. We were hoping the baby will come earlier than then EDD, but not too far off.  We were all expecting that I would have to fly earlier than then planned flight. That day came and no signs of the baby yet. We did not expect the baby will come late so we did not plan for it.

4 Days later, EDD came and went, no signs.

We went to see the doctor on Friday (5 days after EDD) as scheduled, it was a routine weekly checkup. Doctor asked what we wanted to do. He says Monday is a good day to check ourselves to induce the baby because it is not good for the baby to be in there too long. Normally between 7-10 days after EDD is an acceptable delay to induce the baby. One of our main concerns is the baby pooping in the amniotic fluid and then eating his own poop. Apparently it happens with “matured” babies.

Weekend came and went.. no signs of baby yet. So we checked ourselves in first thing on Monday morning.

.. to be continued…

Once the wife is pregnant, we have to start getting regular checkups to make sure that everything is OK. We decided to use the public medical care, aka the “klinik ibu dan anak”. When we tell people that we are actually using the government clinic, we get mixed reaction. Some of them are shocked that we will use such a service and some people just thought it was normal. When I asked around, in the early few weeks of my wife’s pregnancy, most of my friends and colleagues choose to visit a private hospital and see the O&G. For the skeptics, I tell them that we are using the government facilities because 1) I have paid taxes for it. 2) it is free, yes free. 3) when our parents have me and my wife, they also visited the government clinic, but some people say that times are different now. Some of my friends know my parents worked for the government hospital and they though I had special arrangements. Well, we don’t. As far as the nurses at the clinic is concern, I am just another visitor to the clinic. Just a number, just another face.

We first went to the Taman Tun Sardon clinic to check if they can register us since we “thought” that was the nearest clinic which is not packed with people. I knew there was a clinic in sungai dua but it is always full of people. After the visit to the Taman Tun Sardon clinic, we came to understand that we have to visit the clinic that is assigned to our place of residence. Each clinic has a zone that they have to take care of. For my side of the road, it is Bukit Jambul. It is at the ground floor of the flats just after the BJ traffic lights. Small operation. Very few people.

The government clinics are good for regular checkups but they do not ultrasound the fetus very often. So far, we only had one scan at week 16, if I am not mistaken. The clinics will do the regular checkups, bloodwork, urine test, BP etc.. They will also administer the necessary jabs and are incessant about getting the teeth checked up. They “made” my wife visit the BJ dentist for a quick checkup and get her records verified that her teeth were good.

The government clinics also do home visit. They are supposed to visit my wife at home between checkups to make sure that the baby is healthy. So far, they only came twice but I heard many other clinics do not even have home visit. Well they should and if you are using the government clinics, do ask for it.

Using the government clinics brings about a problem for me. Since they do not ultrascan the baby often, I do not know the gender of the baby. During Chinese New Year, when we went back to Kuching, we purposely went to Kuching Specialist to scan for the baby’s gender. It was about 20 weeks then and the doctor was not sure about the gender. He thinks likely it would be a boy but he was not sure as the organ has not developed yet. But he did try his best and manage to get some image of an “organ”, or at least what looked like a shadow of it.

Fast forward to last week, we had one last chance to confirm the gender of the baby. We went to Pantai Hospital for a scan. The doctor was doing the regular scan. Measuring the head, femur and the arm bones. I did ask the doctor what is the gender.. she moved the wand around and said it is a boy. Sure. I certainly did not see anything so I asked her again, “how did she know”… I was hinting her to SHOW me. She did not reply but my wife said she did see something.

I mean, why must she be so shy? Haii.

Anyway, she was more concerned about the health of the baby.. which I agree is important. But i came to her for the gender and to see some images before we get the baby. Well, at least I know the answer now.

The process complication is just beginning as the wife wants to deliver the baby in Kuching. We need to “transfer” the clinic paperwork to Kuching.. which is a busy place. Then we need to get the maternity package from Kuching Specialist. The transfer of account is what I am afraid of. The clinic here needs to send the papers to Kuching and we have to “report in” to Kuching at an appointed date. That is what I come to understand. After delivery, the nurse will call up my wife and check on the health of the mother and baby. Seriously, if you don’t mind the wait. the government nurses takes care of the mother and baby’s health very well. Wife gets free supplements and if it runs out between visits, just drop by and get replacements.. no questions asked.. and it is FREE.

I call this my jinx shelf. It was bought from IKEA in December, two IKEA trips ago.

The installation of the shelf is simple, 4 screws and we are done. The real problem with this shelf is after installing, it weights 16 kilos and is about 5 feet long. That length and weight is the main cause of the jinx.

But after assembling the shelf, comes the hard part about installing the shelf into the wall. The shelf needs to be held up by just 4 screws into the wall.

Sounds easy. To mark the holes in the wall, I held up the cabinet and the wife makes the markings on the wall. Well, it is easier said that done because the shelf is HEAVY and the holes for the screw on the shelf is deep and small, We cannot use a pencil or pen so we had to improvise by trying to make indentation with nails.

The indentations were hard to find but we found them. I made 4 holes. Then we looked at the holes and noticed that “maybe” it is too small to hold the shelf. The holes were made using the normal no.10 bit and the regular red color plastic wall plugs. The holes have to take 16KG of weight in 4 points.

We thought lets give it a try anyway. Then I raised the cabinet up and guess what, 2 holes did not line up and they are diagonally with each other. Great.

The shelf lay by the bed while i figured out what to do and waking up to 4 holes in the wall which was of no use.

Then second trip to IKEA couple of weeks ago. Went to ACE and got a much more stronger plugs and a bigger drill bit. This time, we made a template of the holes on the cardboard that the shelf came in. So instead of raising the shelf and making markings, we made holes on the cardboard where and mark the wall using the holes. It is easier than hoisting 16KG of shelf and marking holes in it.

This time it works. With a larger plugs, I think it will hold the shelf.

On the way up, we had to mark 3 walls. First we thought the shelf would be good where the TV is. Then using a device that I have, we found wires all over the wall where the holes were supposed to be.

Then we marked another wall at the corner of the bedroom and there too, were wires.

Thank god I checked.

While trying to raise the shelf once, it dropped but before I manage to rein it in, it snagged my plastic towel rack and broke it.

But after seeing the shelf on the wall, I am glad the jinx is finally over. Or i hoped.

This year is my first year celebrating chinese new year in my wife’s hometown, Kuching. For the past 2 years, we flew back to Kuching on the second day of chinese new year. One thing I noticed is how everyone asks the same question, how is it here compared to Penang?

Most customs are the same, as we are all still chinese. The wife is Christian but they too celebrate the new year. We go visiting, exchange ang pow, have reunion dinner, the works.

The intepretations and implementions of these customs are a bit different than what my family are used to. Maybe other families in Penang celebrate like the wife’s family.

In most houses that we visited, a full meal is served. Speciality that I noticed being served in every home is “kacang ma” cooked with chicken. Kacang ma is this dried leafy green herb that is an acquired taste. Big thing in Kuching, never seen it in Penang, also not big outside kuching.

I got drunk after the first house before noon. Felt woozy but I have felt worse. That is the first for me. The host, a family friend of the in laws, kept pouring beer. They even broke out the red wine and vodka, hell bent on getting everyone drunk by noon.

Bak kua is a must in every home. They are served like normal kueh, which is welcomed for bak kua monster like me.

They also fry up sarawak keropok and served with acar, pickled, not like the cooked one in Penang.

Then there are the kek lapis, layer cake. All collours and flavour.

Finally, chinese new year is the raining season here, a welcomed respite from the heat of Penang.

Mother in law was in town last week. She came with her sister, which makes her my auntie in law. It is all confusing. But we took them to unique places to eat. They are familar with most chinese food and the hawker fare. It is time we up the ante to bring more unique experience for their trip here.

So we took them to banana leaf lunch. Banana leaf is nothing special for us here in Penang but it is for my in laws. There are not many indians in Kuching. Just the few of them and so there are not a lot of indian eating places there.

When we got to the restaurant, a banana leaf was placed in front of them. Wife told them that they will eat from the leaf. The leaf will serve as the plate. Should see their shocked face!

But I think they enjoyed the meal.

In langkawi, we had seafood. Mum in law said she has not been to langkawi. So we took her there. Actually we wanted to have thai food, real local thai food. Something not catered for tourist, open air, reasonable priced. The hotel reception lady asked us to visit this restaurant called Wonderland. Not too far away. We took a cab, the driver seems to know the place.

When we arrived, we noticed that it was not a thai restaurant but a chinese one. Geeze, it is hard to find a real reasonable thai restaurant in Langkawi.

But we had real nice meal there.

Crabs

despite the  metres wave warning that we got from the met department and the non-stop rain for our trip, the ferry ride was SMOOTH. we drove to Kuala perlis instead of the usual Kuala Muda. it is 1/2 hour away from Kuala Muda but people tell me it is a better trip on water. Better to suffer the trip on the road than on the water. And true enough, I feel that the boat was smooth. I didn’t feel any bumps. Slept on the way back. The seas between kuala perlis and langkawi is sheltered by the langkawi islands itself. So it i was real smooth (3rd time i am saying this) even though we can see dark rain clouds everywhere.

mantis prawn.

When we moved in to the new house, all the light fixtures was a mess. Apparently, the tenant likes to mix and match bulbs in the old place. Instead of buying a new bulb when one is gone, they will take one from some other light and replace the new one. I have bulbs everywhere. The most dramatic makeover they did, and certainly the most dangerous, was to take down the fluorescent light from the sink area to light the bathing area. they do this by hooking the fluorescent light to the water heater cables and letting it rest on the pipes, eye level from bathers. They could have bought a bulb for the overhead light but they choose to do it the easy way. I guess rearranging the lights are free, buying bulbs need money.

So for  years, we have a dark sink area because I did not have the knowledge and skills to screw back the fluorescent light into the gypsum ceiling. The fluorescent light was too heavy for the gypsum ceiling and some “workaround” to the ceiling needs to be done.

Wife has reminded me off and on that we have to engineer something for the sink area. After  years here, something has to be done.

Fortunately, we saw this cheap and simple light at Ikea. RM9.90 for the light and only needs a bulb!

Light enough for me to screw into the gypsum, I was hoping then. All worth a try. If all fails, it is only 9.90.

Took me less than 10 minutes to screw the thing in, in total darkness. Wife was paranoid about live wires so she killed off the whole ELCB to make sure that no one gets fried. Using a torchlight, I get it installed in 10 minutes. Whew. Hope it stays there and not drop off like the wife is expecting.

a simple yet elegant looking light, all for only 9.90 and a few drops of sweat. Life is easy when you have all the tools.

How was it? Well firstly, nice chance meeting Ghim at the play. Had a wonderful time with the wife walking around the school reminiscent over the good old days.

Now before I do any review, let me put the whole thing in perspective and in the right context. I just come to know that this is the first time PFS has organised a play since the last decade. I mean a whole missing decade? That means there are at least 4 years of students who did not have a chance to work in one of these production. FYI, I did take part in one, back in 1996 as a stage crew. Guess which show was that.

Also, the MAD, formerly known as MUSIC and Drama society, is not MOVIES and drama society. Something has to go about the change in name.

On to business. The play is based on the 2004 movie and not the book. They try to adapt the movie to a theater. Movies, the director can play around with camera tricks and special effects. For theater, a lot of imagination from the audience. As for me, I could not remember how the story was in the movie so there are a lot of parts in the play that seems disconnected.

The actors and actress. They can act. I have no questions about that. Drama. They has it. But when it comes to singing.. that needs a little more practice. I noticed that the lead actress lip sync in some of the songs. I have no offense towards that since some of the songs are really difficult to sing and it is not often that you happen to chance a soprano singer in Form6. The mic should have been turned off in one of the lip sync. If I did not hear her voice over the original voice, I could have been fooled. Her lip sync was perfect, as I said, they were good actors.

They could have done a better job with the sound system. The actors were given this super canggih mikes but some people are softer than the other. And sometimes, the mike was not on. Last time, instead of individual wireless mikes, we strung a few condenser mikes on stage.

We love the chandelier, how it is made from those cheap christmas lights. I wondered for a while how the boat moved. Later I found out they did it ala flintstones. It was creative.

Other than the technical aspects, the play is as good as it gets for one that has not been done in the past 10 years. Their strong points are in acting, not singing. They could have left out some of the more difficult songs from the movie or at least lip sync.

This is the first experience for my wife. She has not attended a school play before. Not in her school at least. It is an experience, nevertheless.

My suggestion for next year, Mama Mia!

Yes, I got the tickets to the Phantom of the Opera by Penang Free School. As a proof.

It is a sign that I am getting old, reminicent over the good old days. Small things like this makes me feel young again. And I know I will feel old again when I sit down to watch a play by kids no older than 20, sitting among kids no older than 20. I am sure a lot of them will bring their dates along. Young love. Just FYI before the wife gets jelous, I never bring dates to school plays because I have never been to one! I said I participated in one, but I have never been to one. So the air is clear, other than the haze of course.

I can hear it already, they will either call me sir.. which I still cannot get used to.. or uncle! I don’t know which is worse.

Again, what I told the wife.. we will either be entertained by the great rendition, or we will be entertained laughing at how the play went.

Either way, it will be entertaining.

We will be there early, see if I can still remember part of the school that I spend my youth.

You want to know how I found out about the play? Someone posted in Facebook status asking if anyone is going to the PFS play. And the person who posted is not even studying in PFS. Hey, don’t look at me like I am a child predator. I am sure I am not the only person who has friends below 20 years old. Makes me feel younger

BTW, before you send in the police, those younglings are from the RCS. It is good to have a diverse network of friends